It’s over with her too

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‘This is not goodbye, my darling, this is thank you. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy; thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for all the memories I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go’ #NicholasSparks

On this photography journey I had learnt to love both of them but found myself suddenly stuck in a very uncomfortable place; not between a rock and a hard place but between a rock and a rock and I was being squashed by these two rocks. Our love for photography brought us together so when I started taking less pictures with her; number two, a few weeks ago, that began to worry me. It was that nagging, itching worry that is always there no matter how hard you try to ignore it. The kind of worry that somehow always finds its way back into your conscious; the kind that grips you when the rent is due and you are getting stories from your creditors, hehe. Anyway, the whole experience felt like a long screech happening inside me. I could feel my enthusiasm for her slowly and painfully draining out of me, like a wounded animal just waiting for death to strike. I was losing interest in her but I was not entirely sure why… yet.

We took even less pictures as time flew by until eventually we stopped taking any pictures altogether. Why was this happening? Where had things gone wrong? Was she having the same thoughts? These and a dozen other questions camped in my head for quite a while but after serious soul searching it all started to make sense. It was right there under my nose but I had not smelled it yet, I had completely ignored it; it wasn’t me, it was her! Yes, I know it is a cheesy line but this was different, the problem was really her and her limitations.

See, before number two, there was number one; a little curvy thing she was, that one. I have a thing for little curvy things, they are usually light and simple to handle but they mostly have limitations and things quickly get boring. I wanted to push further but she had limitations and I had to part ways with number one. Still cherish those memories we made though.

Number two came in a short while later. She was exactly what I needed to push further. She did things number one would never have dreamed of and we were having a blast with that, but the boredom slowly begun setting in and I knew where things were going. I had been there before. I knew she could not give me any more than she already had but that was not enough for me. I wanted more so I went out looking for more a couple of days ago and got what I wanted. Yes, I cheated!

I was so excited that day because I had found what I finally needed. I was like a kid with ‘sweet pepsi’ (candy). She was perfect. Her modes and features were easy to navigate and I instantly knew it was time to further my journey, it is over with her too, time to move on to the next one. Thank you number two for showing me that there would come a time I would eventually let you go; I will treasure those memories we made.

Pictures of them below.

Number one

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Number two

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The one I cheated with

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Aren’t cameras just so much fun! hehe.

iNvisible Spaces

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“Life kept rolling her over like a piece of driftwood in the surf of an angry sea”

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“She was intelligent and beautiful and well-off”

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“She made friends easily yet she wasn’t able to put the pieces together into any recognizable shape”

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“She wasn’t sure who she wanted to be so she ended up being no one in particular”

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“She made herself almost invisible”

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“She was the person you loved so much who really wasn’t there at all”

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Poem: Invisible person by James Laughlin
Pictures: Yours truly ofcourse